Ok, so I haven't posted in a week again, I warned you this would happen.
I did watch Alice in Wonderland like I said I would, but it was kinda meh, so I didn't feel the need to run back to the internets to talks about it. Then I didn't rant about other stuff, cuz I wanted to comment on this first. Let's chalk it up to work in progress and move on.
The movie was Alice-revisits Wonderland with some grrlpower thrown in, and absolutely ZERO actual sets or props. EVERYTHING was green-screened in except perhaps one table and a chair or two. Most of the effects are passable, except for the Knave who looked ridiculous, but if you're not going to use anything real, you might as well just make a cartoon.
The movie tells you how it's going to end about 20 minutes in, and then just builds to that spot. Depp's Mad Hatter and Bonham-Carter's Queen are dripping with been-there-done-that because the two of them and Burton have obviously spent one too many nights together sharing a brain. (The funniest thing on the Blu-ray was the extra where Burton and Depp show their character sketches of the Hatter, and they're almost identical.)
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| Spooky. |
Alice's armor at the end of the movie was pretty, but the Jabberwock kinda just stood around acting like target practice, so the movie never rose above meh at any point.
So it sounds like a good time to rag on Tim Burton
I have a love-hate relationship with Tim Burton. As in...I watch all his movies and then I hate them. I figure he must be doing SOMETHING right, because every time I see trailers for a new Burton movie I want to see it, but I'm never satisfied at the end. I've been trying to figure out a a valid explanation for years.
Beetlejuice was bad.
Batman and Batman Returns both sucked. You can blame the scripts, you can say that letting Jack Nicholson over-act and chew on scenery was the reason they were successful, but at the end of the day, they were both horribly bad movies.
Edward Scissorhands was actually pretty good, probably just a little bit of luck due to right place, right time for both Burton and Depp.
Nightmare Before Christmas is one of the most over-rated movies of all time, Mars Attacks! was awful, Legend of Sleepy Hollow was boring, Planet of the Apes wasn't any fun.
By the time Corpse Bride and Sweeney Todd rolled around, I was wondering why Burton didn't find a dead body to have sex with and get it over with already, to which some internet denizen replied "How do you know he hasn't?". Which should probably be the end of the conversation.
Except I really liked Big Fish. I've only seen it once, but I have very positive memories of it, and I'm sure it's better than most of this other stuff. What makes it different? I'm betting he was more willing to let the screenplay work for itself, and had less control over the final product than most of his other films.
Liking 2 out of 10 movies isn't a very good track record. but every single time I see a new Burton trailer, part of me says "gee, that looks swell". What is it that appeals to me? I'm not a necrophiliac. I never did drugs. I was never a goth kid. Do I have a little goth kid inside of me? I really wish I could figure it out, so I could fix myself and just avoid these movies altogether.
Anyway, I'm gonna go listen to some Depeche Mode.
hmmm.
I enjoy reading your take on things because they veer so far from the norm. Believe it or not I gain some insight from your rants now and again because of this.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean by Burton, every time one of his new movies is announced I always find myself completely intrigued but lately most of his flicks have left me sort of disappointed. Not that his movies are awful just that they leave me saying “Eh…”
Personally I thought his early flicks like Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands were decent. They had unique visual look (I guess it can be Goth…) and the stories he told had quirky anti-conformist sentiment that reminded me of John Water’s better flicks. Those early movies weren’t extraordinary in the “Holy shit my mind is forever blown” sense but they had enough personality and flair that it wasn’t difficult to imagine Burton doing some extraordinary shit in the future.
Sadly that didn’t happen. I think the success of Batman sort of ruined Burton and most of his stuff since has been desperately trying to toe the line. He still retains that distinct morbid yet flippant (I don’t wanna call it Goth) visual aesthetic but the once provocative tales tied to those visuals have been watered down to the point where they are overly-sentimental vapid mush. In my opinion Big Fish was the pinnacle of this sad crap. Besides my GF you are the only other person I know who liked it. If you ever watch it again I’d be very interested to hear what about it appealed to you.
What’s even more frustrating, just when I’m about to give up hope he makes something decent (I thought Sweeny Todd was great,)but for he every small step forward he takes it seems he takes a million steps backward with what follows (Alice in Wonderland.)
Ok, that’s it for my ridiculously long response. Just wanted to let you know your blog is being read and figured a comment would be the best way to show appreciation - so keep posting shit. Also the new layout looks much better.
-Darius
I didn't even see this comment until last night, because I apparently didn't set this thing up to notify me if someone says something. Bad me!.
ReplyDeleteIf you think your response is ridiculously long, what are my original posts? WE MUST END THE TWITTER / FACEBOOK REIGN OF 140 CHARACTERS AND "I LIKE THIS"
That last paragraph probably deserves a blog post, titled "How to write on the internet".
And my opinions don't veer far from the norm. Remember, the "norm" IS "67 people liked this".
You also have to remember that you out-filmgeek me (and most people), since I didn't even know who John Waters was until I googled him, and a quick look at that fiimography says that I've never seen any of his movies.
Does that mean I'm not cultured, or you're kinda pretentious?
Normally I would go with option B, but since the last 3 movies I watched were Alice in Wonderland, GI Joe and Percy Jackson...
I guess it's option A. But most artsy movies make Steve a sad panda...
I like early Burton. I don't care what anyone says.
ReplyDeleteBatman and Batman Returns will always have a place on my shelf.
Beetlejuice and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure are also classics.
The problem is this trend Burton's picked up of making film adaptations of books, and then Hot Topicing them for all the sixteen year old girls. That and someone needs to tell Burton to STOP using the SAME ACTORS!
I left Pee-Wee out of my post on purpose, ya know. The Hot Topic thing ties into the goth-thing, Burton is "dark and spooky" but yet still "safe" enough for both real goth-kids and goth-posers alike.
ReplyDeleteAnd Burton uses Helena Bonham Carter all the time because he's sleeping with her...and Johnny Depp because he's probably sleeping with him too.
Also, Johnny Depp is awesome, don't me 21 Jump Street you.